"Revenge is not always better, but neither is forgiveness; learn to know them both, so that there is no problem."
The great Mahabharata has always been the most interesting topic to read. Many of the characters are the fields of research. Whether be Karna, Draupadi, Bhishma, Duryodhana or the most fascinating and my favorite Ashwathama.
Beautiful, brave and controversial, the heroine of the Mahabharat, Draupadi has made Mahabharata an out of the box epic.
The woman who heartily loved Krishna and had crush on Krishna but always known as the best friend of Krishna, Draupadi had once asked Krishna to marry her when “swayamvara” was arranged. Krishna had told her that he would get up and marry her if the hardest task given to the princes present is not achieved by a single prince. But Arjuna did the needful. It was the day that underway the destitutions in Draupadi's life. She reached to her mother in law for blessings and got gifted with exceptionally unexpected gift; the blessings that totally changed her life; the blessings of polyandry.
The idea of one woman having many husbands makes most men feel inadequate, not least her husbands. Little wonder then Draupadi is one of the most popular and controversial heroines of Hindu mythology. A woman who knows her mind, speaks her mind, refuses to be cowered by her husbands, asserts her will and admonishes them when they fail her. A woman who bravely scolds even Krishna and asks about the problems she had faced for her entire life. A woman who satirically reminds Duryodhana that he is a son of the blind. She is, in many parts of India, a goddess, worthy of sacrifice.
But Draupadi is not the only polyandrous woman in Indian mythology. Her mother-in-law, Kunti, knew many men: four gods (Surya,Yama,Vayu and Indra) besides her husband, Pandu. But unlike Draupadi, her association with the gods was not public knowledge. It was whispered in corridors, not announced in courts. And they did not really count as they were not husbands, just child providers. Whatever it may be, the action was polyandrous. The scriptures refer to other women who had many husbands: Gautam-clan Jatila who married to seven Saptarishis and Hiranyaksha's sister Pracheti who married to ten brothers. Thus there was more open attitude toward polyandry in Vedic society.
In early societies with high infant mortality rates and short lifespans, polygamy was preferred to polyandry. When a man had many wives, the family could have more children than when a woman had many husbands. This is one of the reasons why women were usually kept away in seclusion and safety, a practice that eventually led to the throttling of women rights.
In temples, one does see gods with many wives: Shiva with Gauri and Ganga; Vishnu with Bhoo-devi (Goddess of Earth) and Sri-devi (Goddess Lakshmi); Ganesh with Ridhdhi and Sidhdhi. This is either accepted rationally or elucidated using metaphysics. But there are no images of the Goddess with multiple husbands. Usually her doorkeepers, such as Kala Bhairav and Gora Bhairava, are described as her sons or servants. The idea of the Goddess with more than one husband is unacceptable. Even suggesting it is sacrilegious.
Draupadi with her five husbands and an entire epic revolving around her stirs the imagination - makes us think of things that we otherwise dare not think. How did she rate her husbands? Did she have preferences ? By what criteria? Nakula was the handsomest but Bhima was the most passionate and Arjuna,he was skilled but insecure. Did she actually like Arjuna the most as depicted in at the end of an epic; the thing finally led her to the door of hell?
One hears of co-wives fighting over their husband's affection. Did the husbands fight over Draupadi? The epic does not explicitly discuss this, but the possibility of jealously tearing the brothers apart is repeatedly alluded to. The sage Narada warns the Pandava brothers of conflict that can destroy their bond. Narada suggests that they make careful bedroom arrangements to allow equal and exclusive access to each husband for a limited period of time. Any brother who enters her chamber when she is with another husband will have to perform penance. Arjuna does stumble in once while she is in the arms of Yudhishtira and so has to go on a pilgrimage to atone. During this 'pilgrimage', he ends up with three more wives.
Kunti asked Arjuna to share Draupadi with his brothers. Did Arjuna felt hesitated to share one of the most beautiful woman with his brothers? If so, why didn’t he utter a word? Did Draupadi feel bad with this thing? Epic even doesn’t discuss the thing unambiguously. May be Arjuna was the most cultured guy and it was not good to oppose mother in law in the vedic time even if you feel something wrong.
Every brother has exclusive rights to Draupadi's chamber for a year, and then has to wait for four years for the next turn. Why one whole year? Perhaps because it gave Draupadi enough time to bear a child for that husband without any paternity issues. She bore each of her husbands a son.
Before she moves to the next husband, Draupadi walks through pyre to regain her virginity and purity. Such rules were never placed before polygamous husbands. But Draupadi had a rule of her own for her husbands. The same rule as was applied by lord Rama in Ramayana.
She makes it very clear to her husbands that they cannot bring any other wife into the same house. Thus all the Pandavas have other wives, but these wives stay with their parents and the Pandavas have to travel out of the city to visit their other wives in the four years that Draupadi is intimate with the other brothers. The only exception is made for Krishna's sister, Subhadra, who marries Arjuna.
Stories are told of how Draupadi came to have five husbands. Explanations are needed for a culture desperate to explain such a discomforting practice. One story goes that in her past life she was a sage's wife; her insatiable sexual appetite led him to curse her that in her next life she would have five husbands. Another story tells us that she asked Shiva for a husband who was noble and strong, skilled with the bow, handsome and wise. Since no single man could possess all five traits, Shiva gave her five husbands, each with one trait.
Yet, This woman with five husbands is dragged into court and disrobed in public. She wonders why this happened to her. Folklore states that Krishna had sent the perfect husband for her - one who would love and protect her all her life and be faithful to her. His name was Karna, but she rejected him because of his low caste. So, she ended up marrying a man who shared her with his brothers and failed to protect her when she needed him most. Some states that Drupada asked for the most difficult life for her Yaganaseni.
Whatever it may be but the Draupadi’s character is always an inspiring one for all women. The character that makes woman the sturdiest, the strongest and the toughest in any circumstance.
-(Inspired from an article published in the Hindu)
