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May
25

A Year with "Haashya" the Hurricane

Dear Haashya,

Today you turn one! It’s been a year since you crash-landed into our lives with the force of a tiny hurricane, turning everything upside down in the most delightful and chaotic way. Today, you’re officially a man. Just kidding! We’ve still got seventeen years before that wild ride. For now, you’re a baby—oops, scratch that—a toddler. Just saying “toddler” makes me feel like a relic. Weren’t you just a tiny, squishy burrito snuggled on my chest like, five seconds ago? Could you hit the brakes on this growing up business? I’m not ready for all this rapid aging.

Watching you evolve every day has been like binging a fascinating, unpredictable series. You’ve packed so much development into one year, it’s like you’re on a secret mission. You’re crawling now and nosing into everything. Your curiosity is off the charts! Watching you try to figure out how to open the staircase gate or put on shoes is like watching a mini Houdini. You’ve turned the mundane into the magical. Honestly, I could watch you all day—and let’s be real, that’s pretty much my full-time job now.

The beginning of our time together wasn’t exactly a smooth ride. To put it bluntly, it was a hot mess. Your mom and I were losing our minds. You cried incessantly. You boycotted sleep like it was a protest movement. I turned into a zombie. You loved snatching my glasses, and you’re still at it. Seriously, what's with the glasses obsession? Do I look that funny without them?

But then, out of nowhere, you decided to cut us some slack. You saved your first smile just for us when me and your mom were on the verge of losing it. And then you laughed, and that was pretty much the end of us. I can handle more sleepless nights just for one of your cute smiles. You know that feeling when you’re so overwhelmed with emotion you can’t even describe it? That’s how I feel when you giggle. Your infectious laughter is like an instant mood booster. Sometimes I swear I must be dreaming. To be this lucky.

There’s this really corny saying: “After every storm comes a rainbow.” Well, you are the most spectacular rainbow after a really nasty storm. We went through some serious tough times before you arrived. We lost your sister, and both sides of the family had their share of medical drama. But then you showed up and made all those problems shrink into nothing. You’ve taught us that problems are just about perspective.

Now, what do I love about you? I could go on forever... I love your big smile that makes strangers stop in their tracks. Seriously, we can’t go anywhere without someone grinning back at you. I love how you scream with glee and crawl to the door, then dramatically flop down to peer under it when I come home from work. It’s like having my own tiny welcoming committee.

I love all the silly sounds you make; they are the sweetest—and sometimes the strangest—sounds I have ever heard. I love the way you demand your blanket every time you see it, like it’s some long-lost treasure. I love your kisses, even if I have to bribe you with everything from toys to snacks to get one. I love how you turn grumpy grocery store shoppers into giggling softies. You’re already making the world a better place, and you’re only a wee baby. That’s pretty special. You are pretty special.

Happy first birthday, little buddy! You’re a real showstopper. Here’s to many more years of laughs, chaos, and snatched glasses.

Love,
Dad
Jan
17

It's Vegas Baby!!!

And finally, after a yearlong break, am again back to blogging. This time, something on Travel.

Now to be honest I have never smoked cigarette or marihuana or hukkah extensively. I quitted drinking alcohol back in 2016. I have never gambled in my life. You may think I party hard, just because of the title of my blog but you know I am not a party person. I am more of loner. Then what the hell did I do in Vegas?

The truth is, I enjoyed… enjoyed a lot. It was lifetime experience for me… and I am sure for Payal as well. Vegas was always in our bucket list after we moved to US. We wanted to see the craziness of Vegas everyone talks about, always wanted to visit the Sin city but never know how to plan it. Finally one fine Saturday morning somehow, I started searching for Vegas trip on YouTube and that is how me and Payal grew the seed of our Vegas trip.

They say...You either love Las Vegas or hate it. We are the ones that love it. 

We went through many itineraries over YouTube and Pinterest and finally came up with simple plan comprises of exploring the Las Vegas strip and Grand Canyon.

Our journey started with boring long 5-hour flight from Miami to Las Vegas. Fortunately, the flight time just flew by coz of the excitement of trip. We reached Vegas at around 2:30 PM PST (This Eastern to Pacific time change is affecting us even 5 days after the trip.. jetlag you know...). We had expected low temperature at Vegas but it really feels when you switch from 25 Celsius to 8 Celsius. We stayed at Excalibur hotel and would say, MGM properties are awesome. You need not to meet a single person for check in/check out or any of your issues/complaints. Everything is on app. Before we reached hotel, I had all the details about my room and the digital room key.

After checking in to hotel and taking a nice hot shower, we were famished. We went straight to the food court. Now in US we always find it difficult to get right food at right time. Sometimes I feel, me and Payal are the only Vegetarian people in US. Anyway, we ended up taking a typical cheese pizza but that’s fine as food is never showstopper for me or Payal. After finishing our Pizza, we went to explore the Strip.

First, we went to the Luxor hotel, a short tram journey from Excalibur. In the thick of the Las Vegas Strip stands an immense, glossy, jet-black pyramid – The Luxor. Now in Vegas, you will find few common things in every hotel – Shopping center, Food court, Casino and Shows. Same thing with 'The Luxor'. Common things on top of awesome architecture.

After exploring the Luxor hotel, we went to our most awaiting part of the trip. ‘The Las Vegas Sign’. We wanted to visit Vegas sign both at night and in the morning. Fortunately, when we went there, there were hardly few people and we got good amount of time to take photos there.

And then we were to the Pin Ball Hall of fame. You can’t miss playing nostalgic Pinball games on their dedicated consoles.

Our hectic day 1 ended with our visit to Coco cola and M&M store. It’s always memorable to visit the M&M store.

Day 2 was again the day on the Strip. Today’s first destination was ‘Las Vegas Sign’. This time it was more crowded than the previous day. But wait was worth it.

Then we went to famous ‘The Venetian’. After all, Vegas is all about the glamour, about the illusion. And there is no better way to spend time in Las Vegas than falling again in love with your wife in the surroundings of a glamorous hotel that transports you to another realm… like the romantic canals of Venice… Even if it’s only an illusion. You are in the replica of Venice and no trip to Venice would be complete without a genuine gondola ride… Payal was eagerly waiting for this part of trip as visiting Venice is always in her bucket list (hopefully for time being virtual Venice will do) and needless to say, the gondola ride was indeed a lifetime experience for both of us.

Next visit was to another famous giant ‘The Bellagio’. The hotel is inspired from Lake Como in the town of Bellagio in Italy. One of the most significant attractions here is the Fountains of Bellagio. You can absolutely not miss this large dancing music fountain when you are in Vegas.

Another must visit attractions at the Bellagio is their conservatory and botanical garden. This time it was decorated on Chinese theme. I would say it was little overrated but definitely a must visit.

After Bellagio we went to the Paris hotel. Once you visit The Venetian and Bellagio, you will find Paris hotel a little dull but ya… pic at Eiffel Tower is must. We also wanted to visit Eiffel Tower viewing deck but unfortunately it was closed.

By 6 PM we were almost done with our day 2 itinerary. We visited Chandelier bar at ‘The Cosmopolitan’ and the Volcano outside ‘The Caesars Palace’.

As we still had some time, we went to Fremont Street at around 8 PM. By the time we were at Fremont Street, we were really tired, but we explored the area any way. I wanted to visit the area again on the last day but could not.

Now on Day 3, we definitely wanted to relax a bit. Also, we thought it would be great to have a different kind of visit after two days on the Strip, so we chose The Grand Canyon on day 3.

The journey from Las Vegas to Grand Canyon is almost 4 hours long. After breakfast, me and Payal fell asleep in bus and when I woke up, I found the entire area covered in snow. I had never expected the snow. When I woke Payal up, she was also speechless for some time. What a view we had throughout a day!!!

After our Lunch, we visited the Mather Point. Now any point on Grand Canyon gives you an awesome view.

This one of the seven wonders of the world is the place you must see at least once in a lifetime!

In the return trip we watched the spectacular hoover Dam and reached to hotel at around 11 PM.

And now we were back on Las Vegas Strip. Our day 4 started with our visit to Mandalay Bay hotel. We visited Shark Reef Aquarium at Mandalay Bay. Now we have visited many aquariums in US and there is nothing great or new about this aquarium. Ya, we saw Jelly fishes for the first time. 😊

Next stop was at LINQ High Roller. This roller seems normal from far but when you actually come to the place, you will be shocked to see the grandiose.

Then we visited another famous hotel on Strip – The Caesar’s Palace. No one can accuse Caesar's Palace of being low-key. As you enter, you are greeted with Roman sculptures, large fountains and trees that lead you to the sumptuous marble columns and arches.

We wanted to see the fountain at Bellagio in night lights, so we again went to Bellagio, which was just next to Caesar’s Palace and watched the marvelous fountain again. The fountain is something like… the more you watch it, the more you have to watch it.

And then we explored an entertaining burlesque show the Fantasy 😊. The presenter was AMAZING, her voice was outstanding, she was funny and entertaining. The ladies dancing? Omg, gorgeous and amazing dancers and performers. They were topless and sexy in some of the routines which was definitely first time for us.

Now we reached the final day of our trip. Our first plan to visit New York New York hotel, which was just next to our hotel. The hotel is good but after watching Venetian and Caesar’s Palace and Bellagio, you will find this one very simple. We had a really tasty Hershey’s Chocolate shake there... 😋

And then we were in Casino finally. Thank God, we did it on the last day. Actually, we had never gambled in life so did not know how to play on slot machines or any other games. First, we went to the slot machine and lost whatever we invested (Which was 1$ 😉). Then we went to play roulette. Fortunately, we understood the game in sometime. Here we definitely won some money. I really wanted to play more but we did not have much time as we had the flight to Miami in two hours. Anyway, we were happy as eventually we won something. 😉

All in all, this trip to Las Vegas and Grand Canyon was definitely one of those quintessential American experiences. From the bright lights of the Strip to the amazing Fremont Street experience to the snowy wonder of world, this little trip was everything I’d expected it to be and so much more.

Jul
10

The Quarantine Diaries : Happy Birthday Payal!!!

Finally I started writing again… almost after a year and half. This time it’s not our anniversary... It's Payal’s birthday. First of all… “Happy birthday Payal!!!”😃

Now… For those of you who have a lovely wife like mine, you’ll likely appreciate this blog.  It’s about compassion, caring & love… about sympathy, empathy and sensitivity.  It’s a glimpse into how wonderful a wife can be when the chips are down💑. When the entire world is closed out. When her husband is home quarantine with herself😷...

OR IS IT???

First of all, I have decided, I am not going to complain anything about my wife on her birthday. Actually of late, there has been nothing to complain about her except she is too organized or she treat me like I don’t know anything or she don’t let me watch series/movies late at night or she don’t let me read book at odd times etc… etc... All in all, lately I have nothing much to complain about.😶

So where I was… Ya… Payal has been really splendid in these home quarantine days.👍 Mainly when I am busy working. Of course when I am into back to back calls, I get the comments like… “Do you guys really work or just talk over call?”, “Is it the work that you do? Just taking to people?”, “I thought you are software engineer… you sure you are not doing some call center job?”, “You spend more than half of your 8 hours day on calls, talking noisily and making awful jokes and then laughing at them... Have you lost your mind?🙃. But when the day is really hectic, I get awesome treatment like having food time to time. She will even ask what I want to have in lunch or dinner and my opinion actually matters at this point of time (otherwise most of the times my wife asks me what I want for dinner and then tells me I am wrong.).

Payal really appreciate my work and whenever I am busy coding or in some calls, she makes sure, I don’t get disturbed. I really want to thank her for that. Of course sometimes she complains that I says things like, “let’s circle back on that”, “I will get back to you”, “let me check”, “I’ll ping you” all day long and she gets so irritated that she wants to throw the water bottle at me😡. I hope she won’t put the poster stating “Husband on Sale” outside our house. (coz if no one takes me (and I am sure of that), then I will have to listen to more horrible things.)

Payal has been really supportive now a days. When we moved to US, we had many plans that got ruined due to the COVID outbreak but she hasn’t complained ever. In the circumstances when I brawls about this situations she always shows me the positive side of it. That is great strength for me. Ya sometimes she nags that I need to grow up and stop being kid. I still don’t know why she says so but I mostly ignore as most of the times when she is complaining such things, I would be watching "The Simpsons" or reading "Wimpy kid’s diary."😜

Payal is a great cook. Though many a times she has been underestimated about her cooking skills, I would like to proudly say that “Payal, you are an awesome cook and there is no doubt about it”😋. The way she prepares the food and the way she garnishes it after food is prepared, really requires great patience. Of course I should not dare to ask ‘how much more time till the food and her photography is done’. I have recently learnt a trick to know whether Payal is angry with me or not. I figure that out with her answers. Payal: “Do you want something to eat?” Me: “What are the choices?” Payal: “Yes or No” (If she is angry).

My wife and I play this fun game during quarantine, it’s called “Why are you doing it this way?” Most of the times there is no winner. Sometimes when the discussion becomes heated arguments, Payal wins. Quarantine days have become the days to learn how I can avoid house hold chores without my wife knowing it. I have learnt few tricks. Sometimes I muse… “What kind of person you are when you have to use your wife’s empty cereal bowl because there is a condition that if you are using new bowl, you have to wash it by yourself!” Now-a-days I am keeping the count of number of times I did laundry or any chore. It mostly helps me when we are fighting… just to be on safer side😉. Mostly Payal is cool and she don’t fight quite often. (Not more than 5-6 times a week)

OK… So Payal just called me two times and warned me that if I don’t get off my laptop and help with the laundry, she will slam my head on the keyboard😨. I don’t think she really mean it but don’t want to take any risk. Let me conclude the blog with some birthday wishes…

It would sound cliché but there is no exaggeration in saying that I am truly a lucky and blessed man to have Payal in my life. My greatest happiness are when I have chance to talk about her (and those talks are not complains about her). She is the greatest gift to me😇.

Again wish you a very Happy Birthday Payal. Love you!!!💓

Feb
5

Time we lost our little Angel: That horrible Thursday


All of our happiness was seized from us on that horrible Thursday…

I still remember that night... Night of 20th June 2018. I was going back to home from office. Payal called me at our usual calling time. Ya. By that time, she had moved to Surat for the final delivery days. We had normal discussion and then there was that uncanny sentence.

“I am feeling less of movement of our baby today.” Payal told.
“May be because, it is not getting proper space.” I replied. Hating even to articulate the possibility of anything bad, at this point of time in pregnancy.
“Ya. Anyways I am going for routine checkup to my midwife tomorrow. Will tell her to check properly.”

And then we just went on with our usual talk, pushing the otherwise thoughts away, taking comfort in the absence of scarlet. Undeniably I remained in the fog of fear unspoken. And I think Payal as well. I still remember me reassuring myself as I was getting out of cab. At that point of time I rationalize that it must have been last pregnancy days’ effect or so… that is making all those non-movement feeling.

At around 12 midnight, two people at different geographical location… me and my wife… Both still unaware, started facing their most precious loss.

My wife saw small blood spot over her cloths and she updated her parents. They did not wait until the next day when my wife would see her midwife and that Doppler would run over her belly. My wife reached hospital within few minutes. As per our Indian standards, the hospital nurses tried to convince my wife that everything must be fine so go home. Actually they wanted to say… “Don’t bother us at 12 midnight. Go to sleep and let us as well sleep”

Somehow My wife and her parents requested and convinced the nurse to check once. No one could have anticipated but after checking for a minute or so nurse was clear that there was some problem. And then there was totally unaware Payal, three nurses and our midwife, everyone into shock!!! They were checking Payal again and again. They just tried on an on with different Doppler to cross verify whether there is any issue with the sonography machine. She did not have any complications since she had conceived. Pregnancy was definitely healthy. Unfortunately, that awful moment came in that dark sonography room when sonographer told… “There is no heartbeat”.

In an hour… clothed in pink gown, they wheeled Payal to the operation theater. All our parents were just praying for our best. Not sure how my delicate wife bore the moment where she almost knew that worst could happen. I can’t be more proud of her and her strength that day.

“I made sure, I don’t look around in case I made eye contact with someone who’s tender gaze might trigger the tears” Payal told me after few days.

On the other Geo location… I was in deep sleep, totally unware of these ill-fated happenings.

In the operation theater, Payal was told, there is only 1% chance of survival of our baby. Still my wife was positive that there is the chance. She was asked whether she want to wait for Normal delivery or she is okay with C-Section. I don’t know why or how can they ask patient in preference to go on with the best option available for patient? Tough as always… Payal decided to go for C-Section.

They fumbled with needles and veins and few routine tests and checked Payal’s name and DoB and had her verify signatures on consent forms. Payal had just kept mum, praying for some miracle. Then with an injection she was in deep sleep, and as was I. Together Unknown. Unknown about the death of our child… our dream… Unknown about the life that we once knew.

I got a call at 4 AM from my mom.
“We have brought Payal to hospital” Mom told.
“Oh cool. Is she good?” I asked, expecting it is the day when we will have our little one.
“Not really. Your uncle has gone to blood bank as she has rare blood group.” She replied.
“Why blood? Payal is okay, isn’t she?” I asked, bit skeptical.
“Ya ya… Don’t bother. Can you reach Surat immediately?” She asked.
“Okay. Please don’t hide anything. Please tell me.” I was now more unconvinced.
“Yes Dear. Payal is good. We’ll call you back. Just come back soon.” And my mother dropped.

Not sure how much dejected I was but there were many bad thoughts roaming into my mind. I was praying for Payal. I was not able to think, what should I do. I booked the earliest ticket available for Surat and tried to call my father, my uncle and Payal’s parents on and on. I was getting only one reply. Payal is good. I asked Payal’s father to let me talk to her. He told he will as soon as Payal is out of operation theater. I was sure, there is something that I am not aware of.

Then I called our My Cord representative. Just to make sure, they are ready for the delivery and the cord preservation. It was then that I come to know, our baby was no more.
“Has the baby got heartbeats again…?” She asked.
“Mmm… Let… Me… check…. But you please… be available…” I fumbled. And dropped.

And then I knew it. I was blank. Alone in my house, I didn’t know what should I do and what not. I closed my eyes and let the tears wash my breaking heart. I told myself that I have to be strong. I didn’t know what was the situation of Payal. It was after around 3 hours that I could talk to Payal. My wife was serene. Our little angle was no longer in this world. I always wanted to have a baby girl. Our sweet fight was flashing in my memory over my entire journey back to Surat.
“We’ll have a girl. Her looks should be similar to yours… And the nature must not.” I used to tease Payal.
“Let’s see. If it would be other way round, you are finished… man… so be careful.” She used to reply.
“Han!!! We’ll make a gang… and then annoy you.” I used to snap back.

After 10 hours, I was back to Surat, directly to the hospital. Payal was lying in the room. She hadn’t cried at all. She was just longing for me. She was Alone… tired… sad and very, very… empty. And then she cried… We cried. Cried like anything.  

At some point you begin to wonder, if there are any tears left. But it doesn’t take long to realize there are more. Always more. More and hard and fast and hot... The moment arises when you think, maybe you’d caught your breath enough to grasp at some composure for a tiny, brief pause. But composure is for motivational speeches… job interviews or thoughtful clash resolution. It’s not for parents standing face-to-face with the death of their child.

We’ll never know exactly how long she was there, but not there. It was only a week back that my wife saw her heart beating strong on that precious black screen. It was a day or two back that I saw her movements over my wife’s belly on video call.  And then it was the time when she was no more.

No matter what... Our little Angel will always be missed!!!